How My Brain Works

Here is proof that my brain is poisoned by comic books.

Tonight, while walking back home, one girl and two guys got out of the bus before me. The girl was fairly hot and alone, and the two guys looked more or less like crooks. Potential crooks, anyway.

I wasn't thinking about how I miss my girlfriend while walking, or what I was going to do when I got home. No. I was thinking about how the fight would play out if the guys attacked the girl.

Of the two guys, one was wearing tight jeans and a tight leather jacket. He couldn't conceal a firearm, I thought. The other one was pretty big and had a baggy vest and baggy pants. So he would be the one I would have to neutralize first, since he could hide a gun.

Let's say either one of them attacks the girl. So I run at full speed, jump and hit the big guy in the back of the head with my forearm, Tony Jaa-style. I kick him in the body once he's down and immediately focus on the smaller guy. I yell "GO!! GO!!!" to the girl, so she can start running.

No, that doesn't work. If she runs, I can't get my reward.

I immediately get to work on the second guy, sweeping the leg and kicking him in the groin afterwards. He falls down and I smash his head on the sidewalk. But what if the other one gets up? I kick him in the nuts and run with the girl. We get to her home and do it hard, and I leave her panting on the floor to go finish my paper.

I really should stop reading comics.